By LYANA ROSALINI MOHD YUNUS
When someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer or chronic diseases, you will feel a sense of depression and helplessness. You will feel as if the world you know is falling apart and the thought of losing the person you love starts hitting you like heavy waves. As you linger in your disheartening thoughts, you will begin drowning in your mournful emotions, affecting your entire mood for days after knowing what you may lose. |
It is definitely not a stroll in the park to know how to react. Knowing how to give comfort to those who are sick is challenging.
What should you say or do? Even if you do, are those efforts good enough? Will it make a difference?
Most importantly, how do you cope with your own grief?
Coping with the thought of possibly losing your own father was something I never mastered. And yes, I am speaking from my personal experience.
Until today, my father regularly visits the hospital for check-ups and treatments. Although his cancer’s condition has improved when compared to the last few years, knowing that cancer itself is unpredictable where it may come and take him away at any time terrifies me.
Your surroundings may not understand what you feel and you cannot blame them either. No matter what, experience always brings more impact to the person living in the actual situation.
At times, you feel the responsible to be strong since everyone else is bitter. You naturally become the pillar of strength for the weak. You mask away your fragile heart to a point where the strong front you show makes people think that you no longer have one.
Truth is, you are just as vulnerable and breakable as anybody else. It is just that you are too good at hiding it.
School of Communication student Ian Cheong Bing Tian, 22, shared his personal experience during the duration of his mother’s disease.
“It disrupted ties between me and my own mom and I became the emotional punching bag after each chemo session,” Cheong said.
Cheong’s mother is a cervical cancer survivor, but the journey to recovery was challenging for both Cheong’s mother and himself. Cheong’s studies were affected from constant emotional imbalance and stress.
“It did affect my studies, this happened back when I was in form four and the constant emotional stress gets to you after a while,” Cheong said.
Cheong added, “It came down to a point where it was so bad, I ran away from home for a while and eventually landed at one of my aunt's place. It was a very dark time during the period.”
It has always been clear how patients with terminal illness would feel. But some may never understand the emotional stress people around the patient go through. It requires an immeasurable amount of patience and strength to be strong for both your loved one and yourself.
Cheong ended his story by sharing his personal advice on how he coped with the situation.
“Give all the support the cancer patient needs, whatever it is at all. Going through chemo messes with your feelings, making you feel absolutely hopeless and depressed. So there's no point in getting angry or upset at them.
“You have to power through it and eventually come out as a stronger person. Overcoming the situation helps people grow, for both the patient and you,” Cheong said.
What should you say or do? Even if you do, are those efforts good enough? Will it make a difference?
Most importantly, how do you cope with your own grief?
Coping with the thought of possibly losing your own father was something I never mastered. And yes, I am speaking from my personal experience.
Until today, my father regularly visits the hospital for check-ups and treatments. Although his cancer’s condition has improved when compared to the last few years, knowing that cancer itself is unpredictable where it may come and take him away at any time terrifies me.
Your surroundings may not understand what you feel and you cannot blame them either. No matter what, experience always brings more impact to the person living in the actual situation.
At times, you feel the responsible to be strong since everyone else is bitter. You naturally become the pillar of strength for the weak. You mask away your fragile heart to a point where the strong front you show makes people think that you no longer have one.
Truth is, you are just as vulnerable and breakable as anybody else. It is just that you are too good at hiding it.
School of Communication student Ian Cheong Bing Tian, 22, shared his personal experience during the duration of his mother’s disease.
“It disrupted ties between me and my own mom and I became the emotional punching bag after each chemo session,” Cheong said.
Cheong’s mother is a cervical cancer survivor, but the journey to recovery was challenging for both Cheong’s mother and himself. Cheong’s studies were affected from constant emotional imbalance and stress.
“It did affect my studies, this happened back when I was in form four and the constant emotional stress gets to you after a while,” Cheong said.
Cheong added, “It came down to a point where it was so bad, I ran away from home for a while and eventually landed at one of my aunt's place. It was a very dark time during the period.”
It has always been clear how patients with terminal illness would feel. But some may never understand the emotional stress people around the patient go through. It requires an immeasurable amount of patience and strength to be strong for both your loved one and yourself.
Cheong ended his story by sharing his personal advice on how he coped with the situation.
“Give all the support the cancer patient needs, whatever it is at all. Going through chemo messes with your feelings, making you feel absolutely hopeless and depressed. So there's no point in getting angry or upset at them.
“You have to power through it and eventually come out as a stronger person. Overcoming the situation helps people grow, for both the patient and you,” Cheong said.