By FARAH NADHIRAH MUHAMMAD KHAIRUN
Ever since I was a child, my mom taught me that no matter who you are and what you do, forgiveness goes a long way. I grew up holding onto that belief.
When I was 13, I went to a high school where I knew nobody and nobody knew me. I was just an ordinary girl who had a tough time fitting in. That was until the day I met this group of girls I called “friends”.
At first, everything was fine. No one dared to say a word because everyone fit somewhere in the circle so it was harder for me because I was the newbie while these girls had been friends for years.
It was not easy to please them but that did not stop me from trying.
As time went by, nothing I did was ever enough for them. Everything was criticised. The more I spoke, the more I got shushed. The choices I made were never right in their eyes. There was a time when they would gather in a circle around me listing down all my faults and flaws. When teachers adored me, I was mocked for trying too hard. Even having boys admiring me was a huge deal when we clearly know that those choices were not mine to begin with.
Time passed and I was already in my third year of high school. Ironically, nothing changed. I was still the outcast even though I was accepted. That was when I began to accept the fact that I was never enough for these people. I told no one about it because no one would listen.
One day, I woke up thinking to myself – when will I ever stop letting these girls step all over me and how long do I plan on wasting my life away for people who do not even care about me?
That was when I decided to make some changes in my life. I went online and all I got was “just ignore them, they are not worth it”. I got an answer to my question but somehow it was not what I was looking for.
When people say that mothers know best, they are not joking. I opened up to my mom and she said two words that would haunt me for the rest of my life – forgive them.
I thought hard about forgiving and finally saw the truth behind it. If I retaliated and treated them the way they treated me, it would mean that I was no different than my bullies. However, if I forgave them I would be doing them and myself a favour.
Forgiving them meant that I forgave them for tormenting me during my high school years and I released myself from the shackles of hurt their words were causing me. It was not an easy road to walk through but I was certain that it was the right one.
After that, anything they said did not hurt as much anymore. I never fought back, instead I just smiled and walked away every time they tried to attack me. I became someone with confidence. Walking and eating alone was not an issue for me anymore. I was content with who I was and where I was heading.
My friends saw the changes in me and maybe they realised that I was no longer a target. The bullying still went on, occasionally. It just had no effect on me anymore.
We are still friends, five years down the road and the bullying obviously stopped since everyone grew up and headed in different directions.
At the end of the day, forgiveness does go a long way. Had it not been for my bullies, I would not be who I am today. So now, I can tell everyone that my bullies actually helped me.
When I was 13, I went to a high school where I knew nobody and nobody knew me. I was just an ordinary girl who had a tough time fitting in. That was until the day I met this group of girls I called “friends”.
At first, everything was fine. No one dared to say a word because everyone fit somewhere in the circle so it was harder for me because I was the newbie while these girls had been friends for years.
It was not easy to please them but that did not stop me from trying.
As time went by, nothing I did was ever enough for them. Everything was criticised. The more I spoke, the more I got shushed. The choices I made were never right in their eyes. There was a time when they would gather in a circle around me listing down all my faults and flaws. When teachers adored me, I was mocked for trying too hard. Even having boys admiring me was a huge deal when we clearly know that those choices were not mine to begin with.
Time passed and I was already in my third year of high school. Ironically, nothing changed. I was still the outcast even though I was accepted. That was when I began to accept the fact that I was never enough for these people. I told no one about it because no one would listen.
One day, I woke up thinking to myself – when will I ever stop letting these girls step all over me and how long do I plan on wasting my life away for people who do not even care about me?
That was when I decided to make some changes in my life. I went online and all I got was “just ignore them, they are not worth it”. I got an answer to my question but somehow it was not what I was looking for.
When people say that mothers know best, they are not joking. I opened up to my mom and she said two words that would haunt me for the rest of my life – forgive them.
I thought hard about forgiving and finally saw the truth behind it. If I retaliated and treated them the way they treated me, it would mean that I was no different than my bullies. However, if I forgave them I would be doing them and myself a favour.
Forgiving them meant that I forgave them for tormenting me during my high school years and I released myself from the shackles of hurt their words were causing me. It was not an easy road to walk through but I was certain that it was the right one.
After that, anything they said did not hurt as much anymore. I never fought back, instead I just smiled and walked away every time they tried to attack me. I became someone with confidence. Walking and eating alone was not an issue for me anymore. I was content with who I was and where I was heading.
My friends saw the changes in me and maybe they realised that I was no longer a target. The bullying still went on, occasionally. It just had no effect on me anymore.
We are still friends, five years down the road and the bullying obviously stopped since everyone grew up and headed in different directions.
At the end of the day, forgiveness does go a long way. Had it not been for my bullies, I would not be who I am today. So now, I can tell everyone that my bullies actually helped me.